´╗┐Broken Merry-go-Round

I have been pretty health conscious for years. However, for some reason, I seem to lack the discipline to stick to a routine of any kind. Partly because my life is so UN-routine. Every week is totally different. I need to come up with a plan that I can stick with. I’m not totally out of shape, but I have definitely lacked motivation for awhile now. I no longer can fit in the size 4 skinny jeans that I was so excited to purchase. Now that the ultimate season is over, I need to add more activity to my weekly schedule. There are no excuses!

Okay, so maybe the depression is a legitimate excuse. I’m lonely. I’m sad. I feel intense sadness over what my sister is going through, and helpless when I can’t make it better. Most days I know I should get up early and at least go for a walk… but I just can’t bring myself to get out of the comfort of my warm bed. When I get home from work, it is the same story. If I don’t have bootcamp or a game to go to.. I end up sitting on the couch. Eating popcorn. (no joke).

On top of that lack of motivation, I am trying to force myself to re-enter the dating world. This is probably a bad idea. I feel really reluctant to go and meet people, so maybe I’m just not ready. I just want something to happen naturally, and even casually going on dates with new people isn’t going to help my loneliness.

I’ve just been stuck in the same cycle, going round and round… I just want to break away. Jump off the merry-go-round! Sigh… I think that maybe it will be a domino effect. Once I start working out more, I’ll feel better about myself, I’ll be eating better and then I will probably meet my Prince Charming!

Why can’t that be enough motivation!?! I’m going to start keeping track of fitness and food at myfitnesspal again. Maybe that will help. I’ll keep you all posted on my progress!