I dreamed about her for the first time last night. About seeing the look on my sister’s face when I see her holding her rainbow baby for the first time. I am overwhelmed by the feeling of joy that is about to burst out of my heart, and I fear that all am going to be able to do when I hold her for the first time is weep with gratitude and praise at such a gift of grace. This kid just has NO idea what she means to us. In talking to my sister last weekend, we both got a little emotional. She just keeps pushing down the feelings and fears because it is impossible to deal with. I can’t imagine what she is going through. I know that in my own heart, I am almost afraid to let myself get too hopeful, or excited. As we know all too well… there are no guarantees in life. We are doing the best we can though, and I just can’t wait until baby Olivia gets here safe and sound.
In my dream, she looked just like her brother :)
Tomorrow, I am throwing my sister and her husband a baby shower! I have been planning and looking forward to this for a long time. The support from family and friends last year when they lost their son was so amazing and meant so much, I’m looking forward in everyone sharing in our excitement! Although I’ve been stressing about all the little details, in the end, it really doesn’t matter. It is all about the people who are there, and sharing the experience together. I’m pretty proud of what I’ve accomplished though, (especially my diaper cake!!!) and I just want the day to be super special. I know it will be, and I just can’t wait! The time for Joy is upon us!!!